001 – Mildred Dunklesworth

In the 1960’s at some point. This photo was taken on a Sunday after church by her son in law, Lawrence Biscuittree. Mildred thought her hat was “spiffy” and wore her furs every chance she got. A photo of her late husband Ronald Dunklesworth III can be seen hanging over the television.

Mildred was known for her amazing pumpkin pies and her intolerance for Leprechauns. She had numerous Leprechaun live traps around her home. When asked why she wanted to trap them live she said, “The little boogers drive me around the bend with their shenanigans, but there’s no real good reason to rub them out completely. That is, as long as they stay out of my rhododendrons.”

We are fairly certain that the only thing Mildred ever caught was the neighbour’s cat Tinkles, and that was five times.

Tinkles was dumb.